Greatest Mistake
by klainecrisscolferforever
Summary: After her first year of college, Amy is coming home for the summer and couldn't be happier to spend it with her baby boy. The only thing that makes her nervous about returning home is seeing Ricky again since she left. Will it go well or be a total disaster?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Amy's POV

It's been a year since I got on that plane to follow my dream. I made it through my first year of college and man does it feel good to have a break. Today I am going home for the first time in four months to see my son. I miss him more than anything, and my biggest regret was leaving him behind. However, I knew that Ricky would take care of him until I got settled here in New York. Ricky wanted to wait to send John until right before his 5th birthday when he would be starting kindergarten. I was able to find a nice two bedroom apartment, big enough for John and I within a reasonable price. I am greeting by my mom and dad upon my arrival, and I run forward to greet them. My dad scopes me up into his arms and I feel like a kid again wrapped up in his arms. Next, comes my mom, who I take the time to inhale her scent, not realizing how much I missed it while I was away.

"How was your flight, honey?" my dad asks as he grabs my luggage.

"Good. I'm just excited to be home. Where's John?"

"With Ricky at the house with Ashley. He was napping and we didn't want to wake him," my mom informs. I get a little uncomfortable at the mention of Ricky and Ashley alone with John. Last time that happened, they kissed, and I don't know how I feel about that possibly happening again.

"Oh, okay. Well, let's get going, I really wanna see my baby." They both nod in understanding and we head off to my parents house. I'm so very nervous. Not so much about seeing John because I talked to him everyday over Skype, but about seeing Ricky. We haven't really talked about anything unless it was concerning John and I must admit that I really miss him. Setting him free was the hardest, yet most selfless thing I've ever done. I loved him with everything, but he didn't want the things that I wanted. He didn't want the white picket fence, or the wedding, or the happily ever after. I believe he loved me, and I carry that everywhere the fact that I was loved by one Ricky Underwood. But he didn't love me enough to want forever because he didn't believe in it. He didn't believe that we could make forever, and I get it. Just because I didn't like it, doesn't mean I don't get it. Time flew by and we are finally in front of the house. Dad grabs my bags and heads in the house, while I just sit there completely lost in thought. Suddenly, I feel my mom take my shaking hand in hers. _When did that happen?_

"I know you're nervous Amy, but John is excited to see you. You have the whole summer to spend with him and then he will be with you in a few months time after you go back to New York. You are not a bad mom, for making a tough decision. Besides, John has a dad who loves him, and who would do anything for him and you. Don't worry for much sweetie because everything is gonna be just fine," she smiles at me, squeezing my hand in comfort.

"Thanks mom," I return her smile. We both exit the car at the same time, and head towards the front door. I reach out to touch the handle when the door flies open, revealing my younger sister standing there with my pride and joy in her arms.

"Dad said you were still in the car for whatever reason, so I thought I'd bring John to you," she says.

"Nice to see you to Ash. Hey John!" I exclaim reaching out for him. "Mommy miss you so much baby boy!" He leaps into my arms and I hold him close revealing in the feel of him back in my arms.

"Mommy!"

"Yes, baby, mommy's home," I whisper in his hair before pampering his face with kisses. I feel the tears running down my face, but at this point, I could care less. It feels so incredibly good to actually feel and see him in person compared to a screen. After the much needed love fest, I walk into the house I grew up in to see that everything is exactly the same and I couldn't be happier. It feels good to walk into a familiar place and get that old familiar sense of belonging. I place John down to run along and play so that I could get settled in my old room. Just as I'm shedding off my sweater, I hear a knock on the door. I turn around just to come face to face with the one person I love the most besides my son.

"Ricky," I breathe out. "Hey."

"Hi, Amy. I heard you were back and decided to stick around a little longer. I hope that's okay," he smiles that knee weakening smile at me.

"Beyond okay. H-h-how are things? Are they g-good?" I stammer out, cursing myself at how stupid I sound.

"Things are good. School's good, John's good, everything is good. How about you? How's life in New York?"

"Things are going okay. I miss John more than I originally thought I would which was a whole lot. But I think I did the right thing leaving him here until I was settled in. I really appreciate you for everything you did and is doing regarding our son," I say really meaning it.

"I would do anything for that beautiful boy. Well, uhm, let me get out of your hair. I know you want to spend time with John. Just call me when you need a break or two," he says turning around to leave.

"Nothing has changed Ricky. You can see him anytime you want. Just because I'm here, doesn't mean I'll ever keep him from you," I inform him.

"That means a lot Amy, thank you."

"You're welcome," I respond. We just stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. That is until he steps forward and pulls me into his strong arms.

"It's great to see you Amy," and I could just turn into a puddle of feelings. I hug him back, taking in the feeling of his body pressed up against mine, the way he smells, the way his muscles contract against my frame. I take it all in because who knows when I will feel this again.

"You to Ricky, you to."


	2. Chapter 2

I so didn't expect the response for this story. Another show that I love and decided to test my writing skills on. I am so grateful to you guys for all the love and support for what I love. I say it a lot, but you have no idea how much you guys make me smile even when my day is crappy. I appreciate you guys for appreciating me. Here's another chapter for another brainchild of mine that I am really proud of so far. Enjoy xoxoxo

I OWN NOTHING, BUT THE PLOT :)

Chapter 2 Amy's POV

It's been about three weeks since I arrived home and I have to say I am loving every minute of it. Waking up to John, my family, and on top of all that, I get to see Ricky almost everyday. He still works for Mr. Boykewich and attends school, which just ended today, but he spends his free time with John and I. We would go on like 'family outings' or just hang around the house, talking while John played. I learned a lot about the times I've missed. He's still in therapy, but not as often which is great. Work and school are both going really well, and to my dismay he's dating some girl named Emily from school. Though it kind of hurts, I'm happy for him because he's happy and that's everything I've always wanted for him. I explained about Ben and how we went out a few times, even kissed once or twice, but ultimately decided to stay friends. Now Ben is dating a really nice girl who is not Adrian and not crazy, named Chloe. I decided to just focus on school instead of having a love life. Besides getting over Ricky was never easy to begin with, and it still isn't. Tonight he has a date with Emily, so it's just me and John which I am excited for. I am taking him to the new kiddie movie, _Inside Out_ and then we are going to Chuck E. Cheese for pizza and so he can play until he gets tired. I look forward to these moments because I honestly didn't know how much I missed seeing him smile, laugh, and enjoy just being four years old. It's just about time for us to leave, when my cell rings.

"Hello?" I say as I gather John and his things to leave for the movie.

"Hey Amy. Are you busy?" I didn't expect for Ricky to be calling, then again I didn't check the caller ID before answering.

"Uhm, not really, just going to the movies with John. What's going on?"

"Oh, erm, you can go ahead. Enjoy the movie and I will just talk to you later," he sounded as if he really needed someone to talk to.

"Ricky? What's going on? Wait, shouldn't you be on your date?"

"Yeah, that's not happening. We got into a fight and I just really wanted to vent before I did something stupid," he says almost in a whisper. I sigh deeply and feel really bad at his predicament, so I invite him along.

"Listen, the movie starts at 7:45, which is about half and hour away. Meet us at the theater, and we'll talk after at Chuck E. Cheese. How does that sound?" I suggest just so he wouldn't be left alone to his own devices.

"That actually sounds like exactly what I need. Thank you Amy, for including me when it's your one on one time with John," he says sincerely.

"No problem. That's what friends are for," I force myself to say even if it sent a sharp pain through my heart as it left my lips.

"Yeah. I'll meet you guys there. Later Ames."

"Bye Ricky," I say hanging up the phone. "Well John, change of plans. Daddy's coming with us." As expected he was totally fine with that as he cheered and jumped up and down like a mad man. I laugh at my son's attics, before finally having everything and heading out the door.

RARARARARARARARARA

The movie was actually entertaining. John was completely engaged, and I split my time between watching the movie and watching Ricky. When we met up in the theater lobby, he hugged and thanked me again, and once in the movie, he was quiet except for talking with John when he asked a question. At one point, he squeezed my hand before letting go in another silent thank you, and all I felt was electricity. When the movie was finally over, we drove separately so that Ricky could drop his car off at my house, and took over driving my Navigator. I expected it to be super packed with it being summer and all, but for a weekday, it was relatively slow which I welcomed with open arms. We got a table closest to the children's area, ordered our food, and talked while we waited.

"What happened Ricky?" I start off the conversation, where he just signed in frustration.

"Emily and I had plans for a date night. We were there and everything was going fine, until Madison came in. Now Em, knows about John and how I had a baby in high school. She hasn't met him though because it's only been like two months. And she knows of you, but not about you. She doesn't know all the details of our relationship because of it being so soon, I felt it was none of her business, you know," I nod in understanding. "But when Madison came in with some new guy, she asked me if I've seen you and everything. I tried to just stop the conversation, but she just kept talking and then let it slip that we were engaged to be married. I don't know how the hell that came up, but it did and Emily's jaw just dropped. Madison, realizing what she had done, runs off and I'm left to explain things to Emily. I didn't tell her much except, we were together, but decided to be friends while you pursued your dreams in another location. Then, we started arguing about how I didn't tell her all this, which I replied with it was none of her business. She accused me of cheating when she realized you were back home for the summer, which is why I was always busy spending time with you and John. I tried to explain that we were just friends and the fact that we have a baby together, so you and John are a package deal no matter who I date. She got mad and stormed out of the restaurant. I didn't go after her because it was so childish of her to only not trust me, but to question my life before she was ever in it," he finished looking completely drained.

"I'm sorry Ricky. I didn't mean to cause trouble with your relationship. If you really like her, like I know you do, then work it out. You can even introduce her to John if you think it will help. She can meet him, but don't go setting up house with my child," I joked hoping for a smile, which I got. "You can have John whenever you want, and hang out without me. I would never want to cause you to lose out on something or someone. So fix it, whatever it takes, if she's worth it of course," I encourage just as the food was delivered to the table.

"One or two John?" I ask my son, how many slices he wanted.

"Two." I serve us all, knowing that Ricky wanted at least three to start with.

"Thank you for today Ames, I really needed it. As for Emily, I don't know. Anyone who has a problem with me having a family, doesn't need to be apart of it. You and John are my family no matter what happens. I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow and see what happens, but as far as I'm concerned it can go either way." We enjoyed our meal in silence, except for the rambling every now and then from John. I made John stay seated for at least 20 minutes, before he could play to avoid him being sick. After time was up, he and Ricky dashed off to go play and I couldn't help, but watch. This is my family, and no matter how unconventional it is, it's mine and I love my family.


	3. Chapter 3

The response is just insane and I love you guys for it! Thank you so much for all the love and support for my first ever TSLOTAT fanfic! You guys never cease to amaze me xoxoxo

I DO NOT OWN :(

Chapter 3 Amy's POV

Apparently Ricky and Emily worked it out, which I am supportive of, but to an extent. It's never not painful to see the one person you love, try to be in love with someone else. Anyway, since their reconcile, Ricky's been spending more time with her to bring whatever drama down several notches. He has stuck to seeing John every other day, if not every day, but he doesn't stay as long as he used to. I miss him, but him being happy is important to me and if she makes him happy, I shall set him free. I've been hanging out with Grace more these days, seeing how she is my step-sister now. Her mom and my dad reunited our senior year and got remarried a few months ago. Mom's been hanging with her new girlfriend and Ashley is always with Toby. My family actually gets along more, now that we aren't forced to be one. Today Grace and I are at the mall while Ricky has John for the weekend.

"So what's up? Your mind has been on something else entirely all day?" she asks as we walk into a lingerie store, though I have no idea why.

"Oh, sorry. Just thinking about John and wondering what he's doing," I say shrugging off the question.

"You mean thinking about John and how he's with Ricky? The same Ricky that you are still in love with?" she smirks seeing right through me, but all my senses told me to deny. Deny, deny, deny!

"What?! I'm not in love with Ricky, nor am I thinking about him. What gave you that idea?" I say avoiding eye contact. She just rolls her eyes at my blatant lie.

"Amy, I've known you since we were 15 years old, over the years we've gotten close to the point that I can read you. Now that we are sisters, I know you a little bit more, so don't deny it. Tell me what's going on," she insists. Next thing I know, I am spilling my guts, while she lends a comforting ear to listen. It feels good to get everything out in the open, maybe it will help me get over him.

"I just don't know how I feel these days. I'm happy for Ricky, I really am, but it's a process," I finish my long winded rant.

"Amy, maybe you should give it time. I mean, he's in his longest relationship since you and possibly Adrian. I mean, I know it sucks, but if he's happy, you gotta let him be happy. Who knows what will happen beyond this point. You will always be apart of his life, but who he loves in that way is up to him."

"I know and you're right. He's been spending less time with me and more with her and John and I'm fine with that, I just find myself in this what if stage is all."

"Well, maybe we need to get your mind off of Ricky and Emily, and more on Amy and whoever the lucky guy will be. You've had three boyfriends in your entire life, and two were back and forth for years. It's time to get out there and meet someone. I mean I know you're still in love with Ricky, but there's nothing you can really do about it as of now. I've been talking to this guy, Eric and he has this friend, Caleb and he is too cute for words. Maybe we can do a double date tomorrow night?" I think about it for a second. I can't have the guy I love, it's been over a year since I had a real relationship, and maybe it is time to get back out there. This could be really good for me and for my overall relationship with Ricky.

"Deal. I'll go on the double date," with my agreeing, comes a very hyper and cheerful sister.

"Yes! This is gonna be awesome!" We link arms and head out of the mall not knowing someone was watching us the whole time.

RARARARARARARARARA

Ricky's POV

Everything was going okay with Emily before Amy came back. It's not that I'm not happy she's back, I'm just more conflicted. I'm the guy who's said over and over again about how he doesn't believe in everlasting love, or even being in love, when in reality, I fell for Amy Jurgens the first moment my eyes laid on her. I don't know how, but she broke through my coldness, and it scared the shit out of me so I ran. I ran like a chicken with his head cut off, I ran to Adrian, Grace, and any girl who looked my way. I let my past define me for so long when it came to using people until I didn't need them anymore, but Amy changed that. She made me fall in love, she made me want to dream about the things I used to deem impossible, she gave me my son who is the greatest gift I've ever received. When she left, I didn't know what to feel, but I do know letting her go was the hardest thing I've ever done. When she said I was never in love with her, I gotta admit it broke me, but her wanting to go was all the motivation I needed to lie. I avoided contact after that unless it had something to do with John. The only thing I focused on was my kid, my job, and school. After she left, I kind went into this dark place, but I started therapy again to avoid going too deep, and it helped. Three or so months ago, I met Emily in my Psychology class. We were partnered for a few assignments, and she kept flirting, but I wasn't really interested. Finally, she asked me out after about a month and here we are. I thought being with someone new, committing to someone else, might all at once help me get over Amy and at the same time show me that I really have changed and can be faithful. Emily's great, I mean we don't have much in common, she's two years younger than me, graduated early, and she's kind of stuck up. I mean she's nice enough, but she wants to occupy all of my time, but I have a son who deserves all of my time over anything or anyone. She's a rich kid from the 'burbs, but I thought different could be good. But Amy came back home, and everything I've ever felt towards that girl came back tenfold. I felt the anger, sadness, disappointment, irritation, attraction, and everything in between, including love. I've really enjoyed having her back, in the flesh, but I just knew I was walking on thin ice. I couldn't get so close and feel what I feel. It could end one of two ways, us together or so strained that John would be caught in the middle. I don't know if either of us could handle putting our son through that. As of now I am just sticking it out and hopefully I will get over Amy once and for all if I'm lucky. The problem is, I don't know if I even want to give her up. Today I am watching John at the Jurgens' because Amy said she was going out with Grace tonight. I don't mind and I'm happy that she has something besides John to keep her preoccupied. Just then she walks out of her room in a black strapless thigh high dress, black pumps, and her hair straightened to its full length. _What the hell?_ I was a goner after seeing her with John trailing behind her.

"Wow, Ames! You l-look, you look, wow," I stammer out. "You look amazing Amy."

"Thanks Ricky. Yeah I figured why not, you know. First date in a while so I wanted to dress the part I guess," she informs me. _Wait! Date?!_

"Date? You're going on a date? I thought you were going out with Grace," I question clearly misreading the evening.

"Double date. She convinced me it was time to get back out there. I mean I've had three boyfriends, one was my fake husband, the other ditched me, and you I had a baby with. Now all of you guys are in committed relationships, and I'm just now. So I figured why not give it a shot," she says while applying red lipstick.

"Wow, I g-guess you're right," I am completely in shock at the situation. I want her to be happy, of course. But do I want her to be dating? I mean if it makes her happy sure. I mean we all have somebody except her. She deserves to have somebody no matter how I'm kind of boiling at the thought of her kissing some other guy, being with some other guy, and them being John's step-dad. What the actual hell?!

"Ricky! Hey, you spaced out on me there. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"Okay, well John give mommy a kiss so she can leave," she says picking up John and hugging and kissing him goodbye. She sets him back down, where he then proceeded to run off to play.

"I'll be back in time to tuck him in. And no worries, you can sleep here tonight so you're not driving so late," she yells as she walks to the door to leave. I am just seating there digesting everything that just occurred in the last few minutes. _Amy. Date. Guy. Not me. Holy shit._ I am so not ready for this to be happening.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey readers! Just wanted to say, I love you guys, thank you for sticking with me, and wishing you forever happiness in the year 2016 xoxoxo

Chapter 4 Amy's POV

Ricky was acting really strange before I left. I really hope he's okay and not freaking out about something, especially something Emily related. Anyway, I arrive at the restaurant with Grace in tow with about five minutes to spare. The guys were meant to meet us here instead of the traditional guy pick up girl thing. Seeing how we were the first ones there, we get a table and wait for the guys to show up which didn't take too long.

"Amy, this is my boyfriend Eric and his best friend Caleb. Baby, this is my sister Amy that I've told you about," Grace introduces and I must admit Caleb was a looker with dark eyes, a dirty blond head of hair, and a charming smile.

"Nice to finally meet you Eric and you Caleb." We all sit and while Grace and Eric are in their own little world, Caleb kicks off our own conversation.

"So Amy, tell me about yourself," says Caleb after the waitress leaves to fill our orders.

"Well, not much to tell I guess. I'm 19 years old, just finished my first year of college in New York. I have a son who will be four on June 6th in about three weeks and that's about it really," I inform not wanting to hide anything including my son.

"Oh, you have a son? What's his name?"

"John. My sister named him something simple because of his guaranteed complicated life, her words not mine," I chuckle at the memory.

"Why complicated?"

"With the math, you can tell I was young when I had him. Fifteen to be exact, and the father and I weren't together. It's a really long and drawn out story that I will save for another time," I tease.

"Oh, so there will be a next time?" he smirks.

"If you're lucky." We both laugh and fall into a conversation discussing any and everything under the sun. He was funny, smart, witty, ambitious and just all around charming. I found out he is 21 years old and just landed a job at Social Services while going to graduate school for his next degree in social work. He is a child of the state, being in foster care for most of his life, much like someone else I tried my hardest not to think about until I couldn't stop it. Within an hour or two, we are all talking like old friends and I must say, I was having a really good time. Soon it was time to go, so that I can put my baby to bed and give Ricky a break. Grace was staying the night at mine, so instead of going together, I rode with Caleb and Grace took the SUV with Eric. The whole drive, we are goofing around, singing along to the radio, and laughing. It was honestly a great night, that I didn't want to end. When we finally arrived at my house, we just sat in my driveway not knowing what to say, but not wanting the night to end.

"Well, I guess this is it then?" he starts.

"Yup, I guess it is," I respond. "I really had fun tonight Caleb."

"Me too," he says just before leaning in. I began to lean in myself and before I know it, I turn my head leading him to kissing my cheek instead.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just that, I'm new at this and I really wanna take things slow. If that's okay?" I explain. I realized just before we kissed that it wouldn't be right to kiss him before I got control over my feelings. He was too good of a guy to rush things and have them end badly.

"Yeah, no it's my bad. We can go as slow as you want, really. I really like you Amy, and I would like a shot if you're up to it."

"I'm definitely up to it, I just wanna be sure that this is something that can be more. You're great to talk to, to be around, to even look at," he chuckles at that while I continue. "But I haven't been in a relationship in over a year or so and when I was, it was back and forth between two guys. I just like you and want something different is all."

"I understand," he says. He climbs out of the car and comes around to open the passenger side. He walks me to my door and we just stand and smile at each other.

"Goodnight Amy."

"Goodnight Caleb," I say before kissing his cheek and heading into the house. I leave the door unlocked to allow Grace entrance once she was done sucking face with Eric.

"Ricky?" I call looking for him or John. When no one answered, I walk further into the living room and what I found was definitely not what I expected.

"Ricky?" I say startling him and his company.

"Amy! Hey, you're early," he says separating from his girlfriend, I'm guessing.

"It's ten o'clock, so I wouldn't say early. Hi, I'm Amy and you must be Emily. I've heard a lot about you," I introduce myself, not wanting to seem rude, but also not knowing how I feel about the situation at hand.

"Yes, I'm Emily. It's good to finally meet you. John is a great kid by the way. I met him tonight and he was just a darling," she shakes my hand awkwardly.

"Thanks. Well erm, you can go when you're ready Ricky, no rush but I can take it from here. Grace should be on her way in, but who knows when that will be. Goodnight," I say rushing off, wanting to be removed from the awkwardness ASAP. I go into John's room to check on him, he was fast asleep, before heading into my own room in order to change my clothes. I put on my sweats, tank, and fuzzy socks, throw my hair in a messy bun, and apply my night mask. The whole time, I am thinking about how crazy the day has been. I agreed on a double date to try to get over Ricky, I am beyond nervous about the date, I end up really liking the guy, and now I walk in on the guy I love making out with his girlfriend on my living room couch. I really just wanna go to bed now. I walk out of my room to check to see if Grace is in yet, and to get a glass of water when I run into Ricky waiting outside my door.

"Amy, I am so sorry, I can explain," he says in a rush.

"You don't have to explain. It was a bit of a surprise, but as long as things were good with John, it's really none of my business," I said preparing to walk around him.

"But you have to know that I would never disrespect you, John, or your house like that. She came over unannounced when she asked where I was. She only knows where you live because she was in the car with me one day when I came to see John. I never meant for her to be here because she told me she was busy. She showed up as I was feeding John and I don't know, I couldn't get her to leave. We hung out and she met John, which I didn't want to happen right now, but it is what it is, and next thing I know she's pouncing. I tried to push her off, but she wouldn't and then that's when you came in when she was still being very persistent. Amy, if I had known things would be like they were, I would've asked her to leave as soon as she walked through the door. I am so very sorry about all of it," he says sincerely.

"Ricky, it's really okay. I'm not saying make it a habit of having your girlfriend over, but I'm not mad, just surprised. Like I said, as long as John was fine, everything is all good," I smile and finally succeed in getting around him.

"Are you sure? I promise it will not happen again."

"Thank you for the reassurance and yes, I'm sure. Now get out of here and get some sleep. We have the zoo tomorrow remember," I remind him of our outing with John.

"Right, I didn't forget. Well, goodnight Amy and sorry again," he hugs me and kisses my cheek before leaving the house.

"Goodnight Ricky," I say to an empty room. Just then, Grace stumbles in with a goofy grin on her face.

"Tonight was AWESOME!" she exclaims.

"Grace, shhhh. John is sleeping," I whisper-shout while laughing at her craziness.

"Oops, sorry Ames, but gosh do I love that man," she says heart-eyes on display.

"You've been dating three months, can you really be in love with the guy already?" I say because let's face it every guy Grace ends up with, within a week she's in love.

"Hey, I believe in love at first sight. It may have happened a few times in my life, but this feels different. I mean yeah, it's been three months, 10 days, 5 hours, and 23 seconds, but this is something more than what I've ever had before. He gets me in a way no other guy could in the past."

"Oh, he doesn't get you like Jack, or Grant, or Daniel, or any of the other guys you've met over the past year at college?" I ask before sipping my water.

"Yes, it's different. Anyway enough about me, how was Caleb?"

"Caleb's nice, funny, smart, and very handsome. I liked him a lot, so you gain a win for tonight," I smirk at my sister.

"Yes! So are we going on with him again or what?"

"Maybe. He has my number and I told him I wanna go slow, so we are taking our time to get to know each other. I don't want to confuse my feelings for Ricky by projecting them onto Caleb," I inform her.

"That's good. Caleb's a great guy and you guys seem to have really hit it off," she says grabbing my water and taking a huge gulp.

"More or less, we'll see what happens." She finishes off my water before looking around.

"Where's Ricky?"

"Just left. Yeah, I uhm, huh I kind of walked in on him and his girlfriend," I chuckle nervously.

"What?! What the hell were they doing?"

"Making out. I'm not as angry as I am shocked to be honest. I'm just happy John wasn't neglected because of their activities. He was in the bed when I came in. But according to Ricky, she showed up unannounced and _she_ kissed him. I don't know. After the day I've had, I just wanna sleep."

"I'm really sorry Amy. Look on the bright side, you had a great time tonight with Caleb. Maybe this is the start of something big," she says hugging me.

"Maybe. I'm going to bed. Night," I say heading back to my room. The whole time I am laying in my bed just thinking about life and how everything got so crazy from the moment I met Ricky to now. I don't regret anything from the last four years especially my child, but I've made plenty mistakes. I can feel myself dosing off with the thought that with the many mistakes, Ricky will always be the greatest one that I wouldn't change for anything.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Looks who's back with an update! Seriously on a row... this is my third update to my many stories lol, but thank you for baring with me and being beyond amazing! I love you guys and appreciate you abundantly. Hope to hear from you and more coming your way. For all my die hard #RAMY shippers, like myself... they are coming, but the development is necessary, so give it time. As for the Juergans family... George lives with Kathleen, Ashley, Amy, and Anne all live in the family house, but spend most of the time with their significant others which leaves mostly Amy and John with the house for the summer. Just wanted to clear that up :) Leave reviews, ask questions, interact and I will be sure to reply. Enjoy xoxoxo

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING.. WISH I DID THOUGH!

Chapter 5 Amy's POV

It's been a few weeks and I've been spending more and more time with Caleb. I like him enough, but I still feel like something is missing. However, I am really enjoying getting to know him and vise versa. Tonight we are going to a movie with, you guessed it, Grace and Eric. Don't get me wrong, I've enjoyed our double dates, but the constant lip to lip action can be a bit much at times. John is with my dad and Kathleen, so Ricky is free for the night as well. Our relationship is a little strained, but not by much. We hardly have time to talk about anything except for our plans concerning John. He's been busy with Emily and I've been busy with Caleb, but be clear, we are never too busy for John. I am fixing my hair when the doorbell rings. Checking my watch, I realize that it's a little too early for the movie, but knowing my sister I assume it's Grace. However, when I reach the door, I find the father of my baby standing on the other side.

"Hey Amy," he greets.

"Hey Ricky. Uhm, John's not here, he's with dad and Kathleen. I thought I told you that," I say letting him in anyway.

"Yeah, I know and you did. I came to talk to you for a second."

"Oh okay," I say plopping down on the couch. "What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Emily. You see Emily wants to take John to the circus on Saturday and I told her it depends on how you feel about it so I wanted to run the idea by you." The circus? With my son? Hell no.

"Oh, uhm, w-what do you think?" I stammer out instead.

"I'm not a huge circus fan, you know this, but if you say yes, I guess I can make an exception for John."

"S-s-sure, sure, go ahead."

"Amy, are you sure? We don't have to go. You know what? I'm just gonna call Emily and tell her we can't."

"No, go. I mean she has to get to know John sometime if she's gonna be a permanent fixture in your life. Plus, I was thinking of doing something so Caleb can meet John."

"Oh, I didn't know you guys were so serious," he says with a weird expression on his face.

"We're not. Not really, but he's a good guy and I think it would be nice for them to meet. I mean, John's an important part of my life, the most important part actually, and I would like it if he and my boyfriend were on good terms," I explain.

"Boyfriend? So he asked?"

"Not in so many words, but more or less. So, yes, that's fine. Tell Emily that John is looking forward to the circus with you two. It should be fun and hey, he enjoyed it the first time we took him, so yeah," I say just as the doorbell rings.

"That is probably Grace. I'll be right back." I walk to the door and open it to my step-sister.

"Hey Ames. Ready to go?"

"Just about. Just give me a sec. Oh, and Ricky's in the living room, keep him company would ya?" I ask before scurrying off to retrieve my purse and jacket. It doesn't take me long, and before I know it, I am walking back into the living room where Ricky and Grace are in a full-blown conversation. They don't see me at first, but Ricky is the first to turn my way. The look in his eyes are familiar yet unrecognizable.

"Wow, Amy, you look great."

"Thanks Ricky. Uhm, you can stay, but I would love it if you would go have fun with Emily. You have a night off too, enjoy it. Ready Grace?"

"Ready." She walks out before me, she's driving this time, and I drag behind to lock up once I realized Ricky was gonna take my advice and have fun.

"Thanks Amy. You have fun tonight okay?"

"Yeah, you too Ricky." He kisses my cheek like usual and leaves before me. As I am locking up, I watch him get into his car and start it up. With one last wave on both of our parts, he drives off down the street. I walk to Grace's car, which is waiting in the driveway and get inside.

"What was you and Ricky talking about?" I ask buckling my seat belt as we prepared to drive off.

"Nothing and anything. What happened in there before I came Ames?"

"Emily wants to take John to the circus on Saturday."

"Saturday? Weren't you planning on taking him, the exact same day? You bought the tickets and everything for you, me, John, and Ashley to go." The other ticket was for Ricky, but I didn't know if wanted to go because of his hatred toward the circus, so Ashley was gonna take his place if he decided against it since she was in town.

"It doesn't matter. Ricky thought it was a good idea, so it is. Besides, if she's gonna be around she has to be able to get along with our son."

"I'm sorry Amy," she says squeezing my hand over the console.

"Let's just go meet the guys okay?" She nods and we're off to the movies.

RARARARARARARARARA

The movie was pretty good. We saw the newest movie with Shailene Woodley, _The Spectacular Now_ , which I would highly recommend. Caleb and I enjoyed the movie as per usual while Grace and Eric enjoyed each others faces. I swear, you need a bucket of cold water to separate the two. Now we're all sitting here at The Dairy Shake, one of my favorite places, talking and waiting for our orders to be filled. Just as the waitress was heading our way to take our orders, I am shocked to see the last two people I expected to see, walk hand and hand through the door. I nudge Grace's arm, who is laughing about something with Eric, and I nod towards the door once I get her attention. She whips around and her eyes nearly pop out of her head. She turns back to look at me with a sad smile, I nod that I'm okay.

"Hey Ricky," I call him over to the table. He looks my way, smiles, and heads straight for our table.

"Hey Amy, Grace. I didn't think I would see you guys again so soon."

"Same," I reply. "Caleb, Eric, this is Ricky Underwood and his girlfriend, Emily. Ricky, Emily, this is Grace's boyfriend, Eric, and this is Caleb," I introduce everyone. They all greet each other as Grace and I just share a look.

"Hey Ricky. Why don't you and Emily join us," Grace pipes up.

"Oh we couldn't impose on your night," Ricky counters.

"We don't mind at all. Any friend of Grace and Amy's is a new friend of ours," Caleb insists. They finally take a seat, Grace and Eric across from each other, me and Caleb in the middle across from each other, and Emily next to me with Ricky across from her. Everyone falls into their own conversations once again, when the waitress FINALLY gets to our table. We rattle off our orders when Caleb becomes a little curious.

"So Ricky? How do you know Amy and Grace?"

"Oh well, I've known them since high school. I dated Grace for awhile, but now we're great friends," he smiles at Grace who returns it. "As for Amy, we met at band camp. Met up again when school started, became friends, and then parents, and then fiances, until last year with her going away to college and me staying behind," he explains.

"Oh, so you're John's father?" Eric chimes in now.

"Guilty. Yeah, he's the best thing to happen to either of us and I'm proud to say she is truly one of my best friends because of him being in our lives," he says which causes a slight blush on my part and a smile on his. It's almost a very nice moment between us before Emily breaks it.

"So Caleb, where are you from?" From there conversation flowed once more, with laughs and memories. It was surprisingly a great night with a few sideway glances at Ricky to observe him and his relationship with Emily. He was laughing and smiling, but there was definitely something different about the whole thing. When it was finally time to call it a night, the guys paid for us girls and we all ventured into the parking lot. Once again, this is where we part with the guys who Grace and I each kiss goodbye before heading to my SUV which is conveniently parked next to Ricky's.

"Oh Amy," Emily stops me just as I open the driver side door. "Thank you so much for letting John come with us this weekend. That was really sweet of you," she says just a little to sweetly. I give my best fake smile, nod her way, and climb into the car. Grace climbs in next, giving my hand a squeeze before buckling up. Just as I was ready to back out of the lot, I make eye contact with Ricky who is shooting me a look that I can't really identify. I smile at him before turning away and driving away from the one I love, and the one I'm currently with.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Amy's POV

Grace, Ashley, Adrian, and I all decided to make it a girls weekend since John is with Ricky. Adrian has been one of my biggest supports over the past year. We may have a murky past, but when I need someone these three are the first ones I call and vise versa. Lauren and Madison are still very much around, but we drifted after graduation which I wasn't really surprised by. When I had John, we were already back and forth, but I still love and care about them.

"So what's the plan tonight?" chimed Adrian who was sitting on the couch flipping channels and eating chips.

"No plan really, just hanging out. What did you have in mind?" asked Grace, plopping down between Adrian and I on the couch.

"I wanna dance," I speak up for what feels like the first time all night. They all turn and look at me like I've grown two heads or something. "What?"

"You wanna dance?" this time it's Ashley saying something. I nod my head in affirmation.

"I really do. I wanna not think about anything, just have fun with some of my favorite people." Adrian gets up, walks over to me, and places her hand on my forehead.

"Well, no fever, but there's something definitely wrong here. Where is our responsible Amy?" she smirks looking at me.

"Shut up! Tonight I'm not a mommy, or a responsible adult. I'm just Amy who wants to have fun with her friends."

"Hell yeah, let's go. Let's call the boys and get this party started," exclaimed Grace as she not so gracefully scurried off the couch. I didn't really see the need for the guys right now, but hey I get to see Caleb. Adrian called her fiance, Omar, Ashley called her boyfriend, Toby, and I texted Caleb asking if he was free. When we all got our responses we ran off to play dress up and get ready for our night out. I'm seriously excited to not worry about John, though as a mom that is completely impossible, but at least I won't worry about Ricky, or worse Ricky and Emily. I can just clear my mind, breathe, and just enjoy myself. About two hours or so later, we are all dolled up and looking fierce, if I do say so myself. Adrian being Adrian is in a little red spaghetti strap number that is form fitting and just above the knee, topped off with black 6 inch pumps, with fiery red lipstick and her hair cascaded down pass her shoulders. Grace has on a black strapless that was shorter than Adrian's paired with patterned tights, yellow 5 inch pumps, with dark lipstick and hair in a bun with pieces framing her face. Ashley, shockingly, wore a mid-sleeve navy blue knee length dress with simple white wedges with a little lip gloss and her hair in a high ponytail exposing her face. As for me, I decided to bring diversity to our little group. Instead of a dress, I had on form fitting blue jeans with rips, a off the shoulder purple crop top that shows off my belly ring that I got early this summer, and purple wedges that showed off my French tip pedicure. As the others gathered their purses and whatnot, I finished off my look with dark purple lipstick and my hair curled. The doorbell finally rang a few moments later letting us know that the boys were here. Grace is the one who answered seeing how she was the closest to the door. I hear wolf whistles and cat calls from the guys at the door which grow louder as they move further into the house. We all properly greet our respected significant others, and give a brief hello to the others.

"You look beautiful Amy," Caleb whispers after pecking my lips sweetly.

"Thank you. You look incredibly handsome yourself," I beam at him. It's definitely different being with Caleb, but a good different. Everything is a little easier without the constant drama and back and forth that I've experienced over the years. A part of me still longs for what could've been, but I was content with my life and that's all that matters in this moment with those dark illuminating eyes staring back at me.

RARARARARARARARARA

We arrive at the club within minutes and it screamed good time from the moment we parked the cars, to the moment we stepped into the entrance. There was loud music, people dancing, people smoking, people drinking, and couples indulging in some serious one on one makeout sessions. The fake IDs once again came in handy and before we know it, we're heading over to the bar. Everyone ordered their drinks, while I just wanted a glass of water. I came to dance my troubles away, not get drunk off my ass.

"I'm dancing!" I announce to our little group. I head over to the dance floor with the girls not so far behind. Song after song, I enjoy my freedom, my cleared mind, and my reality of nothing but heartache and responsibilities. The guys joined around the third song and things turned hotter, more fun, more freeing. After about the sixth song, I needed to rehydrate so I went up for refills for myself and the girls.

"Four bottles of water please?" I ask the bartender. Once I gather everything, I make my way over to my friends before the craziest sight caught my attention. In the corner was none other than Emily sucking face with some guy who was clearly not Ricky. I stand there frozen in shock and absolute anger at the events playing out before me. My eyes not being able to look away, I am jolted back to reality by a gasp and a voice speaking behind me.

"Oh my God!"

"Wait! Isn't that-" before my boyfriend could finish that statement I am marching over to the unsuspecting couple. I stand there waiting to be noticed, if they ever come up for air that is.

"Hey Emily," I say a little to sweetly at the girl whose face I want to rip off. The couple jump apart and butt heads in the process.

"Amy! Hey! W-w-what what are you doing here?" she shrieks as she scrambles to get off the guy's lap.

"I think the better question is... what are you doing here?" I look over to the confused guy, deciding to introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Amy. You are?" I extend my hand for a handshake.

"I'm Jared. Nice to meet you. Babe, how do you two know each other?" he questions Emily rather confused. I lift my eyebrow at the term 'babe.'

"It's a funny story, but I would really like to hear you guys' story. I mean, how long have you guys been together? You seem like a really cute couple," I play off with a smile. It's taking everything in me not to expose her for the snake that she is, but I think I'm holding my own pretty well.

"Oh, a little over a month. It was like love at first sight," he gushed to my nauseating displeasure.

"That's very sweet. If you don't mind I would like a moment alone with my friend if that's okay with you?" I ask with my best fake smile present.

"Oh, uhm, sure. I'll get us another drink babe," he says before kissing her cheek and walking towards the bar.

"What the hell are you doing?" I question once he's out of earshot.

"I don't think that's any of your business!" she snarls.

"Oh, it became my business when you met my son! Ricky is another story, but when I trust someone with my son who is not my family, it is very much my business!" I quip back.

"Look, it's just all fun. I met him around the same time I met Ricky. We were just friends and then you came back. Do you honestly think I don't know that you two still have feelings for each other? I know that Ricky loves you and that you love Ricky. He's been so damn distant lately that I felt neglected, so I took matters into my own hands. Jared's a nice guy and he really likes me. It's not like Ricky's noticed so I figured why tell him?"

"Because he fucking deserves to know Emily! He is your boyfriend, this is his first relationship after our breakup. He really cares about you and you don't even give him the decency of talking to him. You should have told him you were unhappy, that you felt neglected, not run off to the next guy to flash you a smile," I am seriously pissed right now.

"You don't get it! It took me a long time to even get his attention, I didn't know I had to share it with a kid, your kid, until he finally agreed to go out with me. Then, you came along and it now feels like I'm a third wheel crashing in on this little family you guys built. I'm not used to being second, let alone third, and I don't like it!"

"Anyone who has the privilege of being with Ricky will always come after John and me. Not because he's in love with me, but because we are his family. No one will ever come before our son for either of us because he is our main priority. As for me, I am the mother of his child, I am his best friend, we were in love, we were gonna have a life together, and though things didn't go as planned, we are still important to each other. If you would have just talked to him, you would've gotten this same speech and he would have tried his damnest to fix whatever you deemed broken. He would have given your relationship a fighting chance because that's the guy he is. He is a fighter and he loves harder than anyone I know. He may not have been in love, but he would've gotten there and when he did, you would be the luckiest girl in the world. You may have just lost the best person you could ever have because you wanted to be selfish!" I am breathing hella hard right now because of how absolutely angry I am with this situation.

"Well since you think so highly of him, he's all yours. I don't do second best and it's obvious that you are the one he wants. I'm refuse to come last to you and a kid that doesn't belong to me. Yeah, John's a cute kid, but how could I really compete with a once fiancee and bastard child-" Before the words were fully out of her mouth, dark hair come whipping past me and tackling Emily to the ground. In pure shock, I realize that it's Ashley, who is pretty pissed off right now.

"Don't you ever talk bad about my nephew!" she yells as she throws punches at the girl underneath her. It takes Toby and Caleb to pull her off and reel her in from hitting the girl who now has a bruised nose, blackening eye, and busted lip.

"What the hell is going on?" Jared says as he finally makes his way back to us.

"What's going on is that she's playing you! She's dating my son's father and you! She's hasn't been truthful and has just been using you. I suggest you move on and leave her behind. Let's go guys, I wanna go home," I say as we make my way to the exist with the others not so far behind. On the ride home my mind was all over the place. How could she do something like this? What would make her think Ricky still loved me? Who the hell does she think she is calling my son a bastard? Should I tell Ricky? What am I gonna do? When we finally pull up to my house, the girls say their respective goodbyes to their beaus while Caleb and I are just awkward right now.

"Are we breaking up?" he asks suddenly.

"No. I don't know. Maybe? I don't want to. I just have so much on my mind and I don't wanna drag you into my mess."

"What if I wanna be dragged in your mess? I really really like you Amy and I know you like me too. I just want a chance to really see where this goes. I know it's a long shot, but as of now, I am all in for as long as you'll let me."

"Are you sure? My life is pretty crazy and it can only get crazier," I wanted to be sure.

"You're worth the crazy," he reassures right before kissing me. I kiss back just as firmly and passionate as he kisses me. I like this feeling of stability and security. When we finally pulled apart, he asked the long awaited question that I've been waiting for.

"Will you be my girlfriend Amy?"

"I would love to be your girlfriend Caleb," I smile before kissing him once more feeling very content.


	7. Chapter 7

I know, I know, I suck as a person lol No, but I am truly truly sorry for being so M.I.A. Not with just this story, but all of my others as well. Life has been kicking my butt and I really am so sorry that I let it affect my writing for you lovely people! I will try to do better and update more regularly as life will allow. Enjoy this chapter, and I really hope to update for you guys soon! There's about three or four more chapters to go! Love you guys and thanks for not giving up on me just yet!

Chapter 7 Amy's POV

It's been about a week and a few days and I still haven't told Ricky. He's been rather distant lately and when I ask about it, he shrugs it off and says he has to go meet Emily somewhere. I would have thought she would have broken it off by now, then again, maybe she did and he's just not telling me. I honestly wonder how she explained those bruises.

"Hey babe? You okay?" I am startled out of my many thoughts by the sound of my now official boyfriend. After the chaos and the asking, I've put everything into my new relationship and my son. I want to make this work more than anything, but something is holding me back.

"Y-y-yeah.. yeah I'm good," I fake smile up at him before turning my attention back to the movie playing on my television. He seems to buy it and he too returns to the movie. My mind however is a whirlwind of never-ending thoughts, questions, and concerns. When the movie finally ends and he leaves after light making out, I decided to text Ricky so we can have a very anticipated conversation. John was with Ricky's parents so it was just the two of us, if I'm lucky. Within five or so minutes he is walking through the door, like usual, and joining me on the couch.

"Hey Ames."

"Hey." Things are beyond awkward right now, but I have to push through. "I know things have been kinda busy lately, but I really need to tell you something," I start things off.

"Listen Amy-"

"Emily cheated!" I just blurted out of nowhere.

"Amy-" he tries to cut me off, but the words are spilling like vomit.

"Ricky, when the girls and I went out dancing, she was there. I didn't know, but I saw her and some guy just devouring each other in the corner. I mean it was pretty graphic, but anyway, I confronted her. I mean I didn't really make a scene, well I did later, but at first I just wanted her to explain. Like how could she do that to someone? How could she do that to you? It really pissed me off, but the guy seemed to really not know, so don't blame him, but God she was a total bitch. She said some awful things and before I could get a hold of her, Ashley came charging. She called John a bastard? A bastard, can you believe that? Ash got some good shots though, which would explain the bruises. Ashley really did a number on her. Anyway, I'm sorry it took me so long, but I didn't know how to tell you and it sucked. I didn't wanna be the one to give you sucky news, but there it is in a nutshell. I'm really sorry Ricky," I say all in one breath. I look up to see his reaction to everything and he's just smiling sadly at me.

"Amy? I know," he simply says. I just stare at him in shock. _What do you mean you know?_

"What do you mean you know?" He breathes deeply before spilling the beans.

"Three weeks ago we were supposed to have a date, but she canceled because of something. I decided to just have a night in and grab some dinner before going to my apartment. Well, when I went to get my food I saw her holding hands with some guy. I gave her the benefit of a doubt before seeing her kiss him. Sad thing is, I didn't feel anything when it happened. I just paid for my food, went home, ate, watched some TV, then went to bed. Anyway instead of just dumping her, I just pulled back all together. She wasn't so secretive after that. She was out and about with him more and more and I saw them kissing, hugging, holding hands, and still nothing. I broke up with her officially a week ago. I guess her and the guy broke up, now I know why, and she was blowing up my phone. I just called it quits once and for all. If I would have known then about what she said about you and John, I would have definitely told her a thing or two. I'm really sorry Ames, and yeah good on Ashley. I saw her once since then and she lied saying she fell down the steps," he explains with a chuckle at the last part. I giggle also at the flat out lie before we burst into a full on laugh at the situation.

"I really am sorry Ricky. I know you really liked her," I say after we calmed down. He just shrugs it off.

"I'm honestly better than okay with it. I mean we were not right for each other. She was either too clingy or too cold. Thankfully John didn't get attached because that would have been something, but I'm really glad it was two to three outings instead of more."

"Me too. I miss this. You've been so distant lately and I get it, with Emily and everything, but I really missed this. I missed you Ricky."

"Yeah, sorry about that. It's just been a crazy few weeks and I needed time to clear my head. Besides, you don't need to worry about me. You have a boyfriend, who is one lucky dude by the way, to keep up with. I'm really happy for you Ames. Happy that you're so happy," he says sincerely.

"I'm content. Sorry again things didn't work out with Emily, but there will be others who will understand that having a son means they're not always gonna come before your family. We're your family and we want you happy, but never at the expense of John." I reached over and hugged him close. My grip was loving yet firm, while his was the combination of loving, firm, and... longing? We slowly pull back and without thinking, without so much as a you have a boyfriend, our lips met in the sweetest kiss. It was tentative at first, but soon become full of fire and lust. Our mouths moved together like they were never apart. After all of this time, kissing Ricky was one of the greatest feelings I've ever experience since I was 15 years old. Pretty soon, it's a full on makeout with his fingers threaded through my hair, something I absolutely love, and me now straddling his lap. This went on for minutes, that actually felt like hours, days, forever. Out of nowhere we hear the shrill of a phone and jump apart. As the ringer continues to play, I finally take notice of who I was with and what I had done. I jump off of his lap with lightening speed and search to find my phone. I avoid all contact because Lord knows what would have happened if the phone didn't ring. When I finally find it, Caleb was the one who called. Feeling unbelievably guilty, I decided that I needed to call him back, but not before getting as far away from Ricky as I could. I finally look his way and see him sitting up, hunched over, hands in his hair (something he did when he was agitated), with a look of confusion, anger, and hurt.

"Uhmm, that was Caleb. I s-s-should really call him back," I stammer out feeling like such an idiot.

"When I first saw you across that field, I had gut wrenching feeling that you were special. That you would be important to my life somehow. That thought scared the hell out of me. I've never felt that feeling before so I did what I did best and tried to get rid of it. Staying up late, just talking to you was the most fun I had had in a while. I've never just sat and talked and listened to what a girl had to say and she listened to me. I wouldn't call it love, but it was an amazing feeling, I was happy. I wasn't the kid who got to be happy... I was the kid who got used so much that I started using other people. To hide behind all of that anger, sadness, insecurities, and fear, I did what I do best and I took advantage of the situation. Being with you that night at band camp wasn't part of the plan, but a part of the solution for me to never feel anything except the negative feelings already instilled in me. After that night, I had some serious regret, but I pushed it away to maintain this bullshit image of not caring about anything or anyone. Along the way though, I started caring for you, then John came along and I didn't know I could love someone so strong, so hard, so much. He is the best thing to ever happen to me and that's thanks to you. All of the ex-flings, Adrian, Ben, and whomever after, none of it ever deterred my love for you. Do you know when I fell in love with you? John was just born, you were tired and I made you cry. With everything happening with Ben and the baby, I made you cry and my heart ached to see you so stressed, so sad, and so defeated. But in that moment, you never looked more beautiful to me. In that moment I got to see every little aspect that I first noticed again plus the overwhelming love and strength you displayed for our son. Getting to be with you was the absolute highlight of my life along with raising John together. When I wasn't with you, I reverted to my old ways that nearly destroyed me. You changed me, you made me better and this past year of us being apart was torture. It felt like I lost a huge chuck of what made me better. Emily was there, she liked me and I figured why not try and be that man I was made to be, that man that Amy and John helped me to be, so I said yes. Things were okay, but never great, never anything like what you and I had. When you came back, you don't know how badly I wanted you. How badly I wanted to hold you close, kiss you breathless, and call you mine again. But I was with Emily and I was being the guy that you helped become the man who believes in love. I didn't love her, but I tried. I tried when you first came back, I tried when you went on that double date with Grace, I tried every time I saw you walk away with him. I would never intentionally make you unhappy, I would never stop you from living the life you deem fit for you, but the after that kiss... Do you know how long I've waited to kiss you again? After that kiss, there is no going back for me. You, Amy are the love of my life and I am completely and unapologetically in love with you. I would never put you in the middle of me and some other guy, I would never ask you to choose me because all I want is for you to be happy. I'm really sorry," he stands from his position at the sofa, moves towards me and grabs me in a loving embrace. Tears are definitely present upon my face yet he just kisses them away. With one final kiss, he smiles sadly before walking out the door and leaving me behind with fresh tears and a broken heart.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It's been a month since Ricky's confession and I am still dating Caleb. My head and my heart are in two totally different places. I've loved Ricky for as long as I could remember, but Caleb is such a great guy that he deserves a real chance. So, I distanced myself from the father of my child and tried giving my new relationship extra attention. I wanted it to be Caleb, but deep down I know it was, is, and will always be Ricky. I guess I'm just too afraid to say that out loud or do anything about it. Not to mention, I go back to New York in just a few short weeks.

"What are you gonna do Amy?" I am startled out of my worried thoughts by my step-sister's voice.

"I have no idea."  
"Speaking as someone who was once in love with Ricky, he's a guy that is worthy of good things. Yes, he's treated girls like shit in the past, but when he loves someone, he really loves someone with all that he is," Adrian piped up. "And I know that you dig Caleb, and I know you're battling head and heart, but you really should listen to your heart."

"And we all know where your heart lies in all of this. You shouldn't be ashamed of loving him, I mean you have history, you have John, and that speaks for itself," it was Ashley speaking this time.

"So what you're saying is I should break up with Caleb, completely hurt the guy because of a what if? There is so much more to this situation then love, it's fear and heartbreak and the back and forth is something I don't want to put my son through! He matters most in all of this and yeah I want us all to come out happy, but what if all of that affects John in a negative way? He's the priority here, not me or Ricky for that matter. I just don't want anyone to get hurt, including myself. It was hard to say goodbye to Ricky the first time, I don't know if I can do it again," I sigh sadly.

"You'll never know until you put all that fear into actually loving him. You think too much about everyone else's feelings in this, when you should be more concerned about yours and what this all means for you. You can have everything you've always dreamed up, but you're too much of a chicken to do anything about it," Grace tries to reason. "I know it's hard, and I know everything is crazy for you right now, but just take some time to think about what you want and not everybody else." They left me with a lot to think about. This is why I'm so lucky to have them and no matter what we've been through in the past, where we are now is a true godsend.

"Thanks guys, you gave me a lot to think about." We went back to the happier events of our impromptu slumber party and enjoyed one of the last few nights we may have together for awhile.

RARARARARARARARARA

Time is really running out and I am no closer to deciding what to do with this whole Ricky thing, but I did decide on one thing.

"So that's it? It's over?"

"I'm so sorry! I really really like you, but everything is just crazy. I'm leaving soon and as much as I tried to make this work, my heart wasn't as in it as I wanted it to be," I tried to explain.

"There's no changing your mind is there?"

"No. As much as we make sense, it just doesn't feel right. I need to follow my gut and make a clean break. I can't keep putting everyone else's feelings over my own unless it's my son. I have to do what's best for me and right now what's best for me is to focus on John, school, my job and what I want out of life. You're an amazing guy and in a perfect world I would choose you, but for now, I'm choosing me and that has to be enough. You're gonna make someone very happy, this I don't doubt, and as much as I want to be that person, I'm not."

"Well, even still this has been one of the greatest summers of my life," he smiles sadly at me.

"For me too," with one last kiss and one last glance, we say our goodbyes. "When everything settles, I would really like us to be friends. You're a great guy and I know you live in New York so don't hesitate to keep in touch okay?"

"I'd like that. Goodbye Amy."

"Bye Caleb." Watching him walk away wasn't as hard as I imagined, but it still made me feel some type of way. In all the right ways, he was the perfect boyfriend, but in the end, he just wasn't perfect for me.

RARARARARARARARARA

I sent John off to my dad and Kathleen for my last weekend at home with everyone I love. I wanted a weekend to really talk and hash things out with Ricky and hang out with my girls for our final girls night for now. It is now the night before I have to leave and I am standing here nervous as hell to knock on Ricky's apartment door. I haven't really been here since we lived together, since I chose New York, since the break up and I'm anxious. Just when I got the courage to knock, the door comes flying open with Ricky coming out with a bag of trash.

"Amy?! Wha-What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to talk. I fly back tomorrow and I wanted to touch base with you about John and stuff. Is this a bad time?" I bite my lip nervously.

"No. Uhm, just let me take this to the trash chute and I'll be all yours. Make yourself at home," he says sheepishly before walking away. I walk through the door tentatively looking around at a place so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. Everything looks the same, with the minor exception of a few items differently placed. I sit stiffly on the couch waiting for Ricky to come back, which didn't take long at all.

"So are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"No, I'm fine thanks."

"Okay, so I guess we should... get right to it."

"Yeah, well I know we said his 5th birthday, but he can always come within a month or so. I mean, his room is all ready and there's a daycare right down the street. You just say the word and he can come early," I start things off.

"We agreed on just before his 5th birthday, so let's stick with that for now. I know you miss him Amy and he misses you, but he's okay for now. He has me, your parents, Ashley from time to time, his friends from daycare. Focus on you just a little while longer before we include John in the mix okay?"

"I know and you're right, I just miss him so much. I love him and I want to be with him all of the time. My free time, when I'm just sitting home all alone, I just wanna be close to my baby. You know, something to look forward to, but yeah with classes starting up again and working, I can use some time to adjust to the new year."

"Good. So you'll be back for Thanksgiving and we'll come see you for Christmas and all will be right with the world."

"Yeah, yeah that works for me. Well, I better go before it gets too late," I say starting to get up.

"Yeah, I bet you wanna say your goodbyes to Caleb and the girls and your family," he smiles sheepishly at me. I never told him about the break up because I didn't wanna send the wrong message. As much as I love Ricky, I still don't know what to do. I don't want to be an us, just to fall apart again. I don't know if my heart can take saying goodbye again.

"Well mine and Caleb's goodbye was a few weeks ago actually," I reply almost in a whisper.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I broke up with him. Yeah, he lives in New York and everything, but he's just not the guy for me no matter how great he is," I avoid eye contact.

"Sorry it didn't work out for you Amy," he speaks in shock.

"Even if I wanted it to, it wouldn't have. I mean he's the perfect guy, he's smart, handsome, kind, hard working, loving, but he's just not perfect for me, you know."

"Yeah well, uhm, you should probably g-"

"Why didn't you fight for me?" I ask out of the blue.

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't fight for me. You didn't come after me like I hoped for so long that you would. Why?"

"Well, I, uhm, I didn't know you wanted me to. I thought you wanted me to let you go, but as we can see, I never really did."

"For months, I waited for you to come find me. Before I left all you did was fight me, and I used to think that if you really loved me like I believed you did that I would find you somewhere on that plane, in New York, in my life, fighting. It took me a long time to realize that you weren't coming. It took a lot of tears, tissues, ice cream, and sad movies, to realize that you really let me go. You wanna know what happened with Ben, since I'm sure it will come up sooner or later. Besides my friends from the program I was in, Ben was the only familiar face that I had. Nothing happened and I mean nothing. Within the first few months, we hung out because we were all we had there. We kissed twice, once on the cheek and once on the lips further indicating that it was you I wanted, not him. He's been with the same girl for almost a year. I was alone and I still am. Yeah Adrian's there now with Omar, but what kind of friend would I be if I kept them both from the people they loved and really liked. I was there, alone, still fighting and hoping that you would to. You didn't want what I wanted! You didn't want the marriage, white picket fence, happily ever after, you didn't want that, or so I thought. I come home and you were on the verge of making that life with someone else. It may have ended with her being a lying cheating bitch, but if it wasn't her, it would've been someone else. Someone else would've gotten my knight in shinning armor. Oh but wait, then when I find a guy who's perfect for me in every way, you spring on me that you're in love with me? Do you wanna know how that made me feel? Do you? I was fucking HAPPY! Okay? I spent this summer pinning for you and I felt terrible about it because you had Emily and I eventually had Caleb. I was trying to be happy and move on, I really was and when you told me that you were still in love with me, everything got so complicated. But you loved me back and that feeling will always be one of my favorites. I am terrified of you and us because I don't think my heart can take that kind of heartbreak again if we don't make it! I love you Ricky! I love you and I never stopped, but I'm leaving. I'm going back to a new life without you and I don't know wha-" Suddenly a searing kiss is planted on my lips, rough and passionate. Soon we were lying on the couch, so wrapped up in each other.

"One night," he breathed while kissing down the span of my neck. "Just one night, let me have this one night please Amy? Please?" I didn't want a night, I wanted a lifetime, but if this night is all I can get, I'll take it no questions asked.

"One night," I agreed. He crashes his lips back into mine before clothes were flung all over the apartment. Hands groping, legs intertwined, lips touching every ounce of exposed flesh, words spoken into naked skin. Things were slow, gentle, passionate, and filled with longing. We held onto the promise of love and the feeling of safety, we held on for this one night, for tomorrow, everything fades away.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

In his arms, I lie awake just breathing. I will miss this cocoon of love, safety, and home. Taking a deep breath, I slowly slip from Ricky's embrace and redress in the dark. Once I get all of my clothes back on and looking decent, I softly kiss his forehead before making my way towards the exit.

"I love you Ricky," I speak into the atmosphere before taking my leave. Once I got home, I made sure everything was packed before getting a few hours of rest before my flight. Adrian and I are flying out together so that she can get ready for the new school year as well. When it was time to leave, I said my goodbyes to my family, a little longer for my baby boy, and within seconds I was gone... back to reality. Being in New York, as vibrant and extraordinary as it is, is just not as shiny and new to me anymore. I miss being home, I miss my family, I miss my baby, I miss Ricky. Not saying goodbye to him after that night was hard, but I knew the goodbye would bring nothing but unwarranted misery for both of us. So as a distraction, I threw myself into work and eventually school. I talked to my son everyday, kept in contact with Grace and Ashley, and hanged out with Ben or Adrian when I could. It was all a welcomed distraction for my broken heart. On the first night back, after calling home to let everyone know we made it safe, I cried myself to sleep about what could've been and what never was. Two months in and I have little to no time to even dwell on Ricky or my aching heart to be with him. Today, I am sitting home alone on a Friday night doing my homework when my door bell rings. Sighing deeply, I rise from my seat at my desk and head over to see who it could possibly be. I know Ben, who lives down the hall from me, is with Anita celebrating their one year and I just got off of the phone with Adrian who has a date night with Omar. So safe to say, I'm curious as hell.

"Who is it?" No answer. Brows scrunched in confusion, I open the door tentatively to the sounds of my son.

"John?! What are you doing here buddy?! Mommy missed you so much baby boy!" I say in one breath while lifting my son into my arms. Holding on tight, I observe the hallway to see who is responsible for reuniting me with my pride and joy and see no one. Confused I asked my son how he got here.

"John, baby, how did you get here? Who brought you here?" I asked a little worried.

"Daddy!" he exclaims as if he just answered all of my questions when in reality it prompted more.

"Daddy? But why and where is he?"

"Right here," I hear _his_ voice and look up to see him coming from the direction of Ben's apartment. "I'm right here. Didn't want to intrude on your much needed reunion," he smiles sheepishly at me.

"What's going on? Why are you guys here? I'm ecstatic to see John, but why?" I ask with my heart beating exceptionally upon seeing him.

"Well, I thought about what you said and decided to do something about it... I came after you," he stares into my eyes. My breath catches in my throat and I am speechless. "John, why don't you go and see your new room," he suggest before leading me over to the sofa. As John runs off to the room that spells John in blue bubble letters on the door, everything is silent between us.

"What changed?" I manage to stammer out.

"You and what you said. Amy, I might know you like the back of my hand, but I can't read minds. The whole time you were waiting, so was I. I was scared to come after you because you never said if you wanted me to or not. You never even indicated that you wanted me to be that knight in shinning armor for you. As much as I know you, it took you a long time to even acknowledge that that's what I was for you. You wouldn't let me love you or take care of you like I tried to do, it was your parents you ran to, not me. Emily was just a slight distraction from what could have been if I did indeed come after you. Even still, you were always in the depths of my heart, in the back of my mind every second of every day. When you came back, I felt guilty about Emily and not because I was dating her, but because I wanted you the whole time. When we started falling apart, I knew that it was mostly on me because with you around, everything I've ever felt for you came back stronger than it already was. Then, Caleb came into the picture and I couldn't help but feel like I was too late, that I've lost you for good. But that kiss, that kiss meant so much to me. It meant I had a chance, that maybe you still loved me. I know that me coming here is a long shot and it could all end in disaster, but I had to try. Because Amy Juergens, I am so in love with you, and if you let me, I want to be that knight in shinning armor. I want to be the person you love, who loves you forever. I want to be there for you and John for the rest of my life. And this time, I'm sure. This time, there is no doubt in my mind that I want this, all of this and not because of John, but because I can never and will never love anyone the way that I love you. You're my safe place, you're my heartbeat, you're my world, and I will never take that for granted ever again if you just give me a chance to prove it to you," he finishes with tears streaming down his face. I can't help but match his expression, tears never ending, heart pounding in my chest, my whole body tingling with my love for this man in front of me. This man who made me fall in love, a love I never expected to feel. This man who gave me my son. This man who has in his own ways made me feel wanted, protected, and beautiful.

"You have nothing to prove to me. Ricky, I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I guess I was just scared of what all of this would mean, of getting hurt again. But you have to know that I've never stopped loving you, no matter the situation, the distance, or the boyfriends and girlfriends. I always thought that I didn't need a knight in shinning armor. I thought that it made me weak and I refused to be seen as incapable. But now I know that it doesn't make me weak, it makes me loved, wanted, and protected by someone I am more than honored to love, want, and protect in return. I'm so sorry that I ever doubted you, that I ever took you for granted. I love you Ricky," I breathe out through my sobs. Before I knew it, he was rushing forward and pulling me into what can only be described as an earth shattering, toe-curling, passionate kiss. Standing there, arms encasing my body, lips caressing my own, I'm finally home and that's where I intend to stay for the rest of my life.


	10. Chapter 10: Epilogue

So this is the ending to my second ever full length story! I'm both sad and excited! I'm so sorry for the delays, life has a way of being a huge distraction lol, but thank you so much for sticking with me through it all. I can't express my gratitude for you guys enough. This was just a idea in my head until I put it out there and the response has been gratifying. I'm so sorry for being so late with this and my other stories, but a good story deserves more than just words slapped down. I had to regroup, find my footing, and really put my best out there. I was not gonna serve you guys some mess lol. But thank you so much and TSLOTAT will forever be apart of my life and in my heart. Always and forever #TeamRamy! Love you guys and hope you enjoyed your trip to DelalaLand :)

Chapter 10 Flashforward (Six Years)

Not everyone gets their happy endings, but I couldn't be more humbled to have gotten mine with the love of my life. Ricky and I were married a year after he and John came to live with me permanently. Turns out, those two months apart were spent transferring schools, finding a job, packing, and making traveling arrangements. We were a real family and we were as happy as can be. There were still plenty of disagreements, and storm outs, but nothing like talking everything through and showing our forgiveness with plenty of make up sex (TMI I know). Within six months, Ricky proposed and after a long discussion and reassurance that we were BOTH ready, I said yes. We were married a year later with our families and friends present. It was a small event, but it was filled with a lot of love and support. Two years later, Ashley and Toby eloped and moved to New York to be closer to us and her nephew, where she still resides, loving the big city. Adrian and Omar married about a month after us, Grace and Eric are engaged to be married in the upcoming year, and Ben finally found his real happy ending with his wife of the past six years, Anita. All was pretty great for all of us, even Caleb, who found his happiness with Lauren. After graduation, I went into teaching while Ricky is now a successful Child Psychologist, moving back home to start our newly established lives. Today we're all gathered together at the family house to celebrate John's 10th birthday. It's still hard to believe that my baby boy has reached double digits. Everyone's here and I can't help but be thankful for all of my family and friends.

"John, sweetie, time for cake and presents," I yell out to the birthday boy. He comes running with Adrian's twins, Aiden and Lexi, Grace's son, David Marshall, Jack and Madison's twins, Joseph and Melanie, and his three year old sister, Jadelyn Aria, not too far behind him. The adults gathered around as well to help celebrate my first born.

"Alright guys, on three... 1, 2, 3..."

"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you..." we all finish out the song. I look to my smiling husband who then encourages John to make a wish and blow out the candles. Our son looks our way, looks at his little sister, looks at all the people around the room who love him, smiles, and makes his wish. After cake and ice cream were distributed and presents were opened, I couldn't help but smile at the fresh breeze, the joy on my children's faces, and the love in my husband's eyes.

"What are you smiling about love?" I hear as Ricky takes a seat right next to me, immediately massaging my feet.

"Oh, so now I can't smile?" I tease which causes us to burst into laughter.

"You can, but what's the cause?"

"You. Our children. Seeing my parents get along with their wife and girlfriend laughing together. Seeing my sister, who I used to think was the anti-Christ, happy, in love, and about to become a mom for the first time. Seeing all of our friends happy and enjoying life together. I'm just happy about life and how I got to spend a good portion of it with you," I smile. He returns it before leaning over to kiss me, hands on my round six month belly.

"Thank you for loving me, and letting me love you," he whispers.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," I reply in the same hushed tone.

"I love you Amy Underwood."

"I love you too Ricky Underwood." We share one final kiss before cuddling close and looking out over our whole world in the backyard of my childhood home.

 _I'm in love with Amy and I'm gonna be with her for the rest of my life._

 _I don't want her to accept me or understand me, I want her to change me._

 _She's the one I care about most next to John._

 _Amy Juergen's has taught me what I just couldn't grasp for so many years._

 _I am capable of loving someone and I am capable of being loved._

 _Amy Juergens, will you marry me?_

 **YES**

 _Band camp was the greatest mistake I've ever made._


End file.
